In active addiction—especially for people who started drinking or using early—it’s hard to form a sense of self. Your self during that time is under the influence of or recovering from substances. Addiction often stunts your emotional development.
In recovery, you learn who you are without substances. This can seem overwhelming—especially in early sobriety—but it doesn’t happen all at once. Figuring out who you are in recovery is an ongoing process. I’m eight years sober and I’m still learning new things about my sober self.
“Who am I?” sounds like an abstract and philosophical question, but there are concrete ways to process it. Many sober people pick up new hobbies to replace the time they spent obtaining, using, and recovering from substances. Trying out different hobbies can help you understand your likes and dislikes. Sobriety is an opportunity to try things you’ve always wanted to try.
That said, you don’t have to spend all your free moments trying out every hobby there is to try. The things you are drawn to will become clearer as your mind clears. If you’re having trouble thinking of ideas, it might help to pinpoint broader things you’re interested in—for instance, music, visual art, exercise, nature—and pick something within those categories.
But who you are goes deeper than your hobbies. Therapy is a great place to learn core characteristics about yourself. When I talk to other sober people about what we’ve learned about ourselves in recovery, therapy often comes up. It not only helps you understand the issues that led you to drink or use; it helps you learn who you are and who you want to become.
Your mind and body are connected, so feeling at home in your body is part of self-discovery. This can sometimes be a challenge for those of us with histories of addiction, but I’ve discovered that small steps towards being in your body–like stretching consistently or doing breathing exercises–can make a big difference.
Meditation is another way to connect to yourself, as it asks you to sit with your thoughts; doing so regularly can teach you how your mind works. It’s also practice in non-judgement around your thoughts and feelings. This is a good way to go about the process of self-discovery as a whole.
Gaining self-awareness is a big part of recovery—and it helps you stay sober. Understanding yourself means knowing your triggers and learning to set boundaries around them. When you feel like you’re being true to yourself in recovery, you will want to stay sober.
If you are struggling with a substance use or mental health disorder, there is hope. TruHealing Centers provides treatment for addiction and mental health disorders in facilities across the country. Our staff—many of whom are in recovery themselves—will help you gain self-awareness and thrive in long-term sobriety. Call an admissions specialist at 410-593-0005.
