Getting some sober time brings clarity. This may make it more obvious that the family dynamics you grew up with were unhealthy or destructive. You might realize you picked up patterns of relating that don’t serve you in recovery.
Changing Instinctual Ways of Relating
It can take time to recognize these patterns. Often they are deeply ingrained. For instance, if you were put in a caretaker position at an early age, you might instinctively take responsibility for those around you without considering your own needs.
It can take practice setting boundaries and learning to cope with the initial discomfort of not stepping in to “fix” people’s problems. It can also take time to learn when it’s appropriate to support someone and when it’s detrimental.
Addiction in the Family
The factors that cause addiction are a complex interplay between genetics, environment, trauma, co-occurring mental health disorders, and many others. Kids who grow up with a parent who has an alcohol use disorder are four times more likely to later develop one themselves. Protecting your sobriety may mean setting boundaries around time spent with family members who still drink or use drugs.
Destructive Relationships From Active Addiction
Addiction impacts the people in your life along with you. You may be looking to repair dynamics in your current life that became unhealthy while you were drinking or using. This can take time and patience, but I know from personal experience that it is very possible! Many addiction treatment centers offer family therapy, which is open to anyone in your life who wants to support you or with whom your dynamic might need healing. It is also okay if you need to end relationships–either temporarily or indefinitely–in which your boundaries are repeatedly broken or the patterns continue to be toxic.
While relationships fall into patterns that can be hard to break, it is always possible to change, heal, or step away from unhealthy dynamics. Building strong relationships—based on mutual support—is a big part of recovery.
If you are struggling with a substance use or mental health disorder, there is help and hope. TruHealing Centers offers high-quality treatment for mental health disorders and addiction in facilities across the country. We will help you repair your relationships and build a strong support system. Call an admissions specialist at 410-593-0005.