Recovery is an incredible gift, because it allows you to heal, find what makes you happy, figure out who you are, grow, and so much more.
I and some sober people I know have had regrets about time we “wasted” in active addiction. This is particularly common in the first year or two of recovery, as it often feels like you’re playing catch up to your peers. This has calmed down as I get more and more years sober, but I’ve also had to learn that the only thing I can do is move forward with more intention. And I recognize that being sober gives me perspective I might not have had if I’d never struggled with addiction.
Your “purpose” isn’t just one thing. We often equate it to having a specific job, but it’s really about figuring out what you value and how you want to spend your time. This takes patience.
Identifying Your Values
SMART Recovery—a support group for people with addiction—has a worksheet to help clarify your values.[1] It asks you to pick from a long list; some examples are: “having close friends,” “being emotionally stable,” having peace and quiet,” “avoiding boredom,” “growing as a person,” etc. Once you’ve picked some that resonate with you, you choose your top three to five. Then you come up with goals to help you move closer to those values.
That’s the thing about purpose and values; there’s not a set destination. You feel closer to your values when you’re living in alignment with them.
This all sounds kind of abstract, but one concrete way to process it is to journal. It helps to have specific prompts. You might ask yourself what traits you admire in others. Which of those do you already embody, and which might you admire because you want them for yourself? You could try journaling about the things you regret from active addiction. While this can be hard, it can also be healing and help clarify what’s important to you. We often feel guilty when our actions don’t align with our values.
Trying New Things
It’s helpful to be open to new experiences; active addiction often shuts us off from exploring interests. A friend told me that when he first got sober, someone advised him to be open to any new experience that could be good for him. This is not always possible depending on your schedule, but generally having an open mind is a good thing. Trying out new hobbies, learning and reading, and listening to others’ experiences are all ways to figure out what you’re drawn to.
Finding a purpose can seem like an overwhelming task, but it’s really about getting to explore and learn who you are over time.
If you are struggling with a substance use or mental health disorder, there is help and hope. TruHealing Centers offers high-quality treatment for addiction and mental health disorders in facilities across the country. Our staff—many of whom are in recovery themselves—will help you find meaning and purpose in your new, sober life. To learn more, call an admissions specialist at 410-593-0005.
[1] https://www.smartrecovery.org/smart-recovery-toolbox/values-and-goals-clarification
