The difficult thing about recognizing patterns is that they are by nature instinctive. We “fall into” old patterns because they are something like our default setting—what we do when we’re not paying attention.
Recovery gives us the chance to work on ourselves so that we become attuned to our default patterns. Therapy is a great way to do this; it not only promotes self-awareness, but gives us the tools to pivot when we are engaging in unhealthy patterns.
I’ve been sober eight years, and have been in therapy longer. This doesn’t mean I don’t ever fall into old patterns. But the time between when I start engaging in unhealthy behaviors and when I notice it is much shorter now—and continually getting shorter.
Sometimes I notice before I even start engaging in the behavior, when my thoughts start to veer a certain way. This is important, because most unhealthy behaviors don’t start as behaviors; they start as thoughts. Before relapsing, many people start having more thoughts rationalizing drinking or using. It’s not the pattern that’s the issue, but the level of awareness or unawareness with which you engage in it.
It can be difficult not to beat yourself up for falling into old patterns in recovery. You’re sober; you’ve worked on yourself; why is this still happening? This is in some ways harder the longer you’re sober, because you feel like you should be “past” it.
But it’s also something you can work to accept over time. Most–if not all–of us, whether we have histories of addiction or not, have default patterns. Most of us also have a lot to manage in our lives. it’s inevitable that some things will fall by the wayside. With unhealthy patterns, it’s all about bringing yourself back—without judgment.
If you are struggling with a substance use or mental health disorder, there is help and hope. TruHealing Centers offers high-quality treatment for addiction and mental health disorders in facilities across the country. Our staff—many of whom are in recovery themselves—will help you recognize unhealthy patterns and learn healthy coping skills. To learn more, call an admissions specialist at 410-593-0005.
