People in active addiction often get used to avoidance. The drugs or alcohol are a means of escaping difficult feelings. Many of us in recovery spent a long time being unable to face our addictions.
Avoidance in Sobriety
Getting sober alone doesn’t mean you now know how to face reality in a healthy way. Taking away drugs and alcohol gives you some instant clarity, since you’re no longer numbing yourself, but it’s easy to fall back into avoidance in sobriety if you’re accustomed to doing so. This is especially true in the first year or so of recovery.
Many people engage in avoidance behavior out of fear, but it can increase anxiety and stress. It gives whatever you’re avoiding more power over you. Once you face the thing you’ve been trying not to look at, it becomes more manageable.
Recognizing Avoidant Behaviors
The first step to moving past avoidant behaviors is to know you’re doing them; this can be particularly challenging with avoidance, because the whole point is that there’s something you’re refusing to face.
You might try journaling at the end of each day with specific prompts like “what were some ways I engaged in avoidance behavior today?”; “what are small steps I can take to do things differently tomorrow?” This is a concrete way to measure your level of avoidance and what you can do about it.
Coping Skills for Anxiety
As avoidance is often about anxiety or fear, it’s important to develop healthy ways to cope with these feelings. When I’m overwhelmed, some things that help are progressive muscle relaxation (intentionally tensing muscles and then releasing), stretching, counting how many objects of a certain color are in the space I’m in, paying attention to my senses, noticing my feet on the ground.
Regular meditation also reduces stress and changes parts of the brain involved in emotional regulation. If your emotions are manageable, you won’t be as inclined to avoid them. Meditation can also give you more insight into whether you have avoidant thought patterns like “I should stop feeling sad” rather than sitting with sadness.
When you’re avoidant in recovery, it’s another way of escaping reality. It’s okay and not a sign of failure if you do so. But recovery gives us a great opportunity to face the world with clarity, courage, and honesty.
If you are struggling with a substance use or mental health disorder, there is hope. TruHealing Centers offers high-quality treatment for addiction and mental health disorders in facilities across the country. Our staff—many of whom are in recovery themselves—will help you learn coping skills to face anything sober. Call an admissions specialist at 410-593-0005.
