Building Closeness in Recovery
Many of us in recovery spent our formative teen or early adulthood years drinking or using. During the time we might have been learning to build authentic closeness, we were cut off from ourselves by substances. All types of closeness—romance, in friendships, in familial relationship–require vulnerability, active communication and listening, the ability to set boundaries, […]
Perfectionism in Recovery
There are stereotypes that people with addiction are irresponsible, and that people with perfectionistic tendencies are reliable to a fault. But these two can be the same person. Perfection doesn’t exist, making the pursuit of it distressing. It’s not unusual to get burnt out when things inevitably don’t go as planned. Some perfectionists and people […]
Life After Addiction Treatment
Making the choice to attend addiction treatment is a big accomplishment in itself; admitting you need help can be hard. Completing treatment is huge and something to be proud of—and luckily, a good facility won’t send you back to your environment unprepared. Treatment is designed not just to get you off substances, but to help […]
Breaking Myths About Recovery
Before I got sober, I only had one close sober friend. I didn’t learn much about sobriety from him until after I got sober, because once he entered recovery, I often avoided him. I thought people in recovery were miserable and bored—or, worse, boring. I didn’t think I could have fun around someone in recovery, […]
Jealousy in Recovery
Most people occasionally feel envious. This can be exacerbated by social media, where we typically only see the best snippets of people’s lives. Even though we know intellectually this isn’t the full picture, we may respond emotionally. It’s okay to feel jealous sometimes. But if you’re constantly comparing your life to others’, it’s not helpful […]
Understanding What is Unhealthy for You
When you get sober, you can focus on your physical and mental health. But that doesn’t mean everything you do will be healthy for you. Many of us with histories of addiction have a tendency to engage in things that feel good in the moment, but aren’t great for us in the long run. Identifying […]
Getting to the Roots of Your Addiction
The phrase “knowledge is power” rings true when it comes to addiction recovery. Learning about addiction and sobriety—and yourself—is really helpful. Becoming self-aware means learning your triggers and how to cope with them. It also means learning some of the things that led you to drink or use, so that you can address any underlying […]
Making and Breaking Habits
Repeated use of substances “teaches” the brain to crave them. While substance use disorders are an extreme example because they significantly impact dopamine levels—which are responsible for reward and motivation—any habit has roots in the brain. The amount of time it takes to build or alter a habit varies based on the habit, the person […]
Falling Into Old Patterns
The difficult thing about recognizing patterns is that they are by nature instinctive. We “fall into” old patterns because they are something like our default setting—what we do when we’re not paying attention. Recovery gives us the chance to work on ourselves so that we become attuned to our default patterns. Therapy is a great […]
Joy Is a Skill
We tend to think of joy as something that just happens to us. When good things occur, we’ll be happy. But really, finding joy is a skill that you can practice. You don’t have to sit around and wait for your life to be perfect. Relatedly, joy and grief can exist in tandem. In active […]
