Before I got sober, I only had one close sober friend. I didn’t learn much about sobriety from him until after I got sober, because once he entered recovery, I often avoided him. I thought people in recovery were miserable and bored—or, worse, boring. I didn’t think I could have fun around someone in recovery, because I imagined sober people were wet blankets.
Where did I get this idea? Lack of positive examples of people living sober lives–or no examples at all. Myths and stigmas thrive in silence. I filled the empty space in my head with representations of sober people I’d seen in pop culture, and my own assumptions about how recovery might look.
One of the biggest myths is that once you get sober, life is no longer fun. This was a worry for me, as it is for many. Fortunately, my worry was unfounded. Substance use often distorts emotions. Most nights in active addiction—even ones that started out fun—I ended up feeling some combination of difficult emotions that I couldn’t even begin to process. Now, I am able to be present, I try new things, I have much more fun, and I remember the fun I had.
Three years ago, a friend commented on my five-year soberversary post, “These past five years are the happiest I’ve known you.” Since I got sober, several more of my friends have entered recovery too, and I’ve witnessed the same in them. The idea of the miserable sober person I had had in my head was far from the reality.
Another big misconception is that you have to hit “rock bottom” in order to get sober. This idea is dangerous for a number of reasons. People may wait to receive treatment because they assume they’ll get to some point of no return. But waiting just means having to recover from a potentially more severe addiction later. Not everyone loses it all in active addiction—but pretty much everyone experiences negative impacts on their life.
Another dangerous myth is that once people get sober, their problems will immediately disappear. But removing substances is the first step. If someone believes otherwise, they may give up before they experience the real joy of recovery. The reason people say they are “in recovery” and not “recovered” is because sobriety is a continual process of healing and growth. This is a gift.
Yet another toxic myth is that if you relapse, you’ve failed at recovery. This idea keeps people in a cycle of shame and use, afraid to seek or return to treatment. But experts in the addiction field consider relapse a part of recovery. You learn a lot from relapse about your triggers and the coping skills that work. You don’t re-enter recovery in the same place you were when you first got sober; you have more skills and awareness. The sooner you come to terms with relapse, the sooner you can seek support to get back on track.
If you are struggling with a substance use or mental health disorder, there is hope. TruHealing Centers across the country offer high-quality and individualized treatment, with relapse prevention and aftercare plans before you leave our care. We will set you up for success in recovery and a fulfilling life. Call an admissions specialist at 410-593-0005.
