Human connection is an important part of recovery, but people may come to early sobriety with damaged relationships. Sometimes people in the throes of addiction hurt those around them actively, and other times they do so indirectly—through things like not considering others’ feelings or causing them to chronically worry.
The reason many addiction treatment centers include family therapy is because repairing close relationships is an important part of healing from addiction. In this case, “family” does not always mean blood relatives; it includes anyone significant to the person who is willing to go through the process with them.
One of the most important things to keep in mind is that this is a process. There are no quick fixes to rebuilding relationships, especially ones that may have accumulated issues and resentments over time.
Both you and the people in your life need to heal from your addiction. This requires work, both together and separately. The work you do on yourself in recovery will inevitably improve your relationships–past or future.
Trust is often breached in active addiction. Rebuilding trust can also play a big part in repairing damaged relationships. This too takes patience.
Recovery is a chance to learn both setting and respecting boundaries. When I was in active addiction, many of my relationships—especially romantic ones—were short on boundaries. But healthy boundaries are very important for healthy relationships.
Being sober allows us to be more intentional about boundaries. Therapy and other forms of self-work can help us understand our own and learn to stand firm in them. Practicing meditation and other coping skills can help us learn to sit with difficult feelings, so that we can respect others’ boundaries even when it’s hard.
Boundaries may also look like realizing that you need to limit or cut communication with someone—that they are a trigger for substance use or otherwise negatively affect your life. You might learn that the other person doesn’t want to work things out with you. Both of these outcomes can be very challenging to accept. But it’s important to keep in mind that this is a possibility so that you can manage your expectations.
The longer you stay sober, the better your relationships will generally get. People will see that you have worked on yourself, and the work you’ve done will improve your communication—all leading to more fulfilling relationships.
If you are struggling with a substance use or mental health disorder, there is help and hope. TruHealing Centers offers high-quality treatment for addiction and mental health disorders in facilities across the country. We offer family therapy to help you work on relationships that will support you in lasting recovery. Call an admissions specialist at 410-593-0005.
